JAKARTA (voa-islam.com) – Parents in whole world likes to see big honesty in their kids. Honesty is one of best character that human should have, especially kids. If the parents teach how to learn it for their kids at the youngest age, later the they will be able to always be honest when they grow up.
There are many theories that give instructions about how to teach our kids to be honest. But on the reality, it is not easy to run that theory to be true, because there are so many reasons that make kids lie to their parents. Childrentparenting describes 3 factors dealing with that, as follows :
1. Lying as the describtion of their fantasy
"Mom, I can be a superman". Many kids usually say this in their games. This thing is usually happened to the kids at the youngest age. They are easily to be influenced whit anything that they heard and see. As a result, kids have difficulties in distinguist the real thing and the imagination one. Playing something that involve an imagination is permitted. But parents should explain to their kids that game is unreal.
2. Lying to avoid a mistake.
Almost every kids will say untruth if they are in pressures. They will try to shift their mistakes. On the youngest age, kids usually use their natural imaginations to lie. Next, when they are grow up, they will try to make powerfull stories to avoid any punishments.
.. Kids will say untruth if they are in pressure. They will try to shift their mistakes...
Their emosion include guilty, worry and scare are involve here. They can even say "The cat break this vase, not me" to prove that they are not make any mistakes.
3. Willpower to lie
Lying is bad habit, especially for kids. If the parents do not handle it seriously soon, it can be worse. Parents has to be familiar with the first non- verbal signal of lying, showed by their kids. For example, "Mom, I will go to Alex’s house to learn together with my friends", where as they just want to play around.
The best approach
If your kids usually lie to you, do the best approach to give them any understanding about it. Give simple explanation that their acts are abselutely bad. Do it smoothly and give many positif words on it.
Do not for get to give your kids any punishments as the consequences of lying. You can give it equal with how big the mistakes are. One thing that parents should remeber, do not get angry or shout a loud to the kids, so they realize that lying is definetily bad for them.
by : James P. Krehbiel
One of the perpetual problems that many parents face is lying by their children. Parents will often personalize this problem and view it as a sign that their children lack respect for them. Parents may also believe that their parental authority is being undermined when their children distort the truth.
It is important that parents recognize that all behavior is purposeful, even the habit of lying. Some lying is a common feature of the human experience. Rather than focus on the specific lies told by their children and the implications of those lies, parents would be well-served in trying to understand the purposes underlying their children's need to distort the truth.
When parents confront their children about their pattern of lying, they may inadvertently make the problem worse. Parents may unintentionally promote a power-struggle and cause their children to actually become more deceptive about their behavior.
I believe that parents need to rethink their perspective for dealing with their children when they lie. I recommend that parents never use the word lying in front of their kids. Use of the word lie sets up an adversarial dynamic. It is preferable to use phrases such as "you need to be more up-front with me" or "you need to be honest with me". This relaxes the encounter and makes it more likely that you will get to the bottom of the situation.
Often children will lie if they feel intimidated or feel excessive pressure from a parent. For example, a child may be afraid of harsh, punitive treatment as a consequence for poor grades. Talking with your child on an on-going basis about the nature and quality of his work, rather than focusing on assessment is helpful in promoting more truthfulness.
Children may embellish stories and lie to their friends if they lack self-confidence and proper social skills. Children may feel the need to gain approval from their peers. If you are aware that your child is fabricating information, explore the issue with gentleness or seek professional counseling assistance if necessary.
Adolescence may be the most difficult developmental period for dealing with lying. Children, during the teen years, are looking for ways to separate from their parents through experimentation, concealing information, and acting guarded around their parents. Try to keep the lines of communications open. Set appropriate boundaries and limits. Monitor you children closely for substance abuse, and other acting-out behaviors. Never accept excuses for inappropriate behavior. Set logical consequences and stick to them. By setting these parameters, parents can reduce the opportunity for their teenagers to engage in lying.
Some guidelines for parents to cope with children who conceal the truth are:
* All behavior is purposeful, even lying. Lying is not always intentional deceit and may be aimed at getting attention from parents or manipulating a situation.
* All children will lie on occasion. It is inevitable. Remember your childhood?
* Reframe the word lying. Use terminology that means the same, but softens the conflict.
* Children may be embarrassed or sensitive about telling the truth. Acknowledge those feelings with them, but insist on knowing the truth.
* When children tell the truth, reinforce their positive behavior.
* Never set-up your child by being aware of a lie and then asking him for the truth without discussing that you have information. Acknowledge up-front that you know what's going on.
* Monitor your children's behavior (without over-involvement) to see if you notice any red-flags.
* Stay out of power-struggles with teens over deception. If you know they are being untruthful, merely acknowledge it and set reasonable, logical consequences.
* Never make the issue of deception the main focal point of your conversations. Lying is always a byproduct of other more meaningful areas of exploration with your children.
* As a parent, role-model honest communications and behavior demonstrating integrity with your children. Children may pick up on inconsistencies in parenting and use those patterns as a reason to be untruthful and manipulative.
Unfortunately, some children are pathological (chronic) liars. These children wreak havoc at home. Through stealing, self-medicating, promiscuous sex, and other self-destructive behaviors they may exhibit psychological disorders. These youngsters need professional, psychiatric and counseling treatment.
Remember that lying is purposeful behavior that can be minimized with healthy involvement with your children, appropriate monitoring, sensitivity and understanding, and role-modeling of honest, open, and emotionally expressive communications.
Read more: http://www.familyresource.com/parenting/behavior-issues/when-children-lie#ixzz0nRAPVVm5
Cluttered refrigerator is a common sight in most homes. It is not only inconvenient when you are looking for certain items, but it can also be unhygienic. Hence, you need to start organizing your kitchen by ensuring that your refrigerator is free off any clutter. This is a very small project you can begin with to make your home more manageable.
Some of the items you need to organize your refrigerator include the following: dishwashing soap, trash can, sponge, and baking soda. Once you have all the things you need, you can complete this within an hour or so.
Step 1. Begin de-cluttering your refrigerator by emptying all of its contents. Once you have emptied it, you can use the soapy sponge to wipe the interiors. Take an entire box of baking soda and place it at the back of your refrigerator. This will help absorb any odor that is produced from the inside for a fresher smell.
Step 2. Organize your food items into basic types. This will enable you to figure out how you can place items back on the refrigerator to ensure that you can utilize the space properly.
Step 3. Aside from grouping your food together, grouping them will enable you to place them according to height. Hence, you no longer have to take each item out just so you can see what is hidden behind it. When you open the refrigerator, you can actually see the items and pick out whatever you need and leave behind those you don't.
Step 5. Maintain. It is of no use when you organize your refrigerator today and in a matter of days things will go back like they used to. You need to dedicate a time each week to clean and maintan your fridge as part of your weekly habit.
Step 6. Once you have started cleaning out your refrigerator, it should be easier to organize the same technique you used with the rest of the house. And of course, you need to use the same habit of cleaning and maintaining.
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